Let me start by saying that I know I am one of the extremely fortunate people who will come through this Coronavirus crisis more or less whole (assuming it doesn’t kill me, but let’s not dwell on THAT possibility). I watch friends here who have lost their income and who may lose their businesses. I watch all the people on the front lines putting their lives at risk every day. It makes me feel helpless, useless, sad, angry. My contribution to this crisis seems to be buying so many coffee beans that I will never run out (MUST keep the coffee shops in business!).
This week I seem to be in the phase of wanting to kick something (not the dogs, I promise!), scream at everything, crawl in a hole and cry. I feel irrationally angry at the world. I’m normally optimistic and generally a happy person, so this is disconcerting.
Seems like a good time to vent.
First of all, can we all agree that we can stop calling this thing the “Novel” Coronavirus? I looked up the definition of Novel: “new or unusual in a unique way”. I don’t feel like it applies here anymore. This feels anything but “novel” right now. I say we just drop it.
This pandemic is reshaping society, I wonder every day what normal will look like after this. I think part of my anger comes from how much we have all been forced to change.
I have a whole wardrobe of colorful masks and gloves in my car, along with my alcohol (rubbing alcohol, really), paper towels, and the hand sanitizer I (shockingly) found on my last trip to the store.
When I venture out to the store or post office, I find myself scowling at people not wearing masks. But they can’t even see me scowl, how frustrating is that? I can’t even mask shame effectively! I’m working on scowling with my eyebrows.
I gave blood last week; I was waiting in the designated socially distanced line, and this man – with NO MASK – walked right up to me. I felt like a caged animal furtively looking around for an escape route. I wanted to yell at him, “dude, don’t you know about social distancing?”. I find myself doing the two-step backwards anytime someone comes into my 6 feet of space. I wonder how long it will be before we feel comfortable not shout-talking with our friends from opposite sides of the street.
My IPhone doesn’t recognize my face with a mask on. Do I make a new face ID with the mask on? What if it is just vague enough that any masked bandit can use my IPhone? Why has Apple not solved this yet?
ON THE POSITIVE SIDE…
My IPhone and my credit card are extremely clean, I don’t know if alcohol is good for them, but that’s all I have. They may not work after this, but they are sanitary.
We made it to the surgeon for Zoey’s final X-Rays and appointment, a couple weeks late but we made it. I sent Zoey in to see the surgeon and they brought me an iPad in a Ziplok to I could speak to him after he did his exam. He was very happy and gave her the thumbs up to slowly return to full-on puppyhood. I mentioned to him that she didn’t really have any speeds between zero and sixty, and he said that we’d just have to deal with sixty. The first day I let her have some off-leash time, she did wind sprints in the snow. She was so happy. It made me laugh out loud. I’m thankful every time the dogs make me laugh! She still limps but her leg does not seem painful at all, so I am hopeful that with time and strength she will be able to stop limping.
I’ve been waking up at 3:30 – this has been an evolution. For the past few months I had to walk Zoey separately; to be able to have coffee, feed the dogs, feed the cat, walk both dogs, do the CrossFit workout and be ready to coach (via Zoom!) at 6:15, I found myself getting up earlier and earlier. The other day Puck got us up at 2:30 and I had to put my foot down. 3:30 is early enough damnit!
The great news about this is that now that I don’t have to do multiple dog walks, on the days we make it to the trails in Gunnison, we definitely have it all to ourselves at 5 a.m.! Just us and the mountain lions.
The bad news is that the other day my Whoop told me I needed to go to bed at 5:30 to get enough sleep. I go to bed early, but 5:30?? Even I can’t make that happen, crazy Whoop.
Ok, that’s about all the positivity I have in me today.
I’m really sick of mud. It’s mud season here, usually I would be somewhere else NOT in the mud, but here I am. With two filthy dogs. My robot vacuum is working overtime and the floors are still a mess. It’s a losing battle. Zoey has developed dreadlocks filled with burrs on her underside. I’ve been trying to cut them off, but they are impressively tough. She is going to need a shave once we can get to a dog groomer!
I attempted to make yeast bread the other day because I could not find my oat bread in the store last time. Apparently, I did not activate the yeast because my bread came out like an oat brick. It tastes good, but it is about an inch high. Very dense.
On a serious note, I hope you are all healthy and safe in this crazy time. I know we will get through this; we just have to try to keep our sanity until that time.