What a week: On Tuesday I ripped my quad tendon off my patella, tore my VMO muscle and fractured the surface of my femur. All from a little slip when I wasn’t paying attention. Ask me if I feel old and fragile. On Wednesday I had an MRI to confirm all this. On Thursday I was sewn back together by an amazing and kind surgeon. Now I am figuring out my new reality.

After the shock wore off on Tuesday, my first thought was “how the hell am I going to cope?” I can tell you now that I was really freaked out. I wasn’t sure I could do this by myself. Actually I was pretty sure I couldn’t.

And then the floodgates opened.

I cannot possibly convey to you the outpouring of kindness I have received. It is overwhelming. It makes me cry with gratitude every time I think of it.

Please let me take one second to say thank you. Those words will never be enough but I hope over time I can repay all the people who have showered me with kindness. Or at least return the kindness to someone else in need.

Thank you to all of you who dropped everything the minute you heard I needed help. To all of you who reached out to make sure I know you are there for me if and when I need you. You have offered to take me anywhere I need to go. You have offered to do anything I cannot do. You drove me to the hospital. And waited with me. You picked me up and brought me home. Made sure I was ok. You took Puck out. You are planning to take Puck out. You have offered to do anything and everything. Including wrangling cats for a vet appointment. You brought me enough good food to feed me for at least a week. You have made it clear I can call if I need anything. And you made me believe you. You have brightened my day with kindness and a smile. You have made it so easy for me to ask for help, when that has always been the hardest thing to do.

Thank you to all of you who cannot be here but who have been constantly checking in on me. It makes such a difference to feel loved and cared for.

Thank you will never be enough. But I hope each and every one of you understands what a difference you have made. Your kindness is humbling.

My new reality

I am gradually adjusting to this new (but temporary!) reality. Everything takes about 5 times as long as it should, so I’m learning to be patient. I received my SmartCRUTCHes (I had these when I had ankle surgery) and they are so much better than regular crutches. Plus they have zebra print on the arm cuffs, what is not to love?! I am looking forward to my waterproof leg covering that should arrive tomorrow so I can stop duct taping a garbage bag on my leg to shower. I have a new shower chair, which has come in very handy. Amazon loves me right now.

The surgeon said he was really happy with the repair. That’s definitely what you want to hear from your surgeon! I start PT tomorrow; it will be nice to feel like I am doing something positive.

I’ve been sleeping a lot, which is probably exactly what I need right now. I was a little depressed yesterday but I feel much better today. I just needed to have a little pity party. And then get over it.

I am able to put weight on the leg and honestly there has not been much pain.

I made the trek to the coffee shop today, equipped with my backpack, Zebra crutches and new running shoes. It only took me 13 minutes to walk there. Not too bad! It was nice to get out.

Other than the fact that I have a very long recovery ahead of me, things are looking surprisingly rosy. That is the power of kindness!