This is a difficult post for me to write. I will keep it short. Tomorrow I will begin blogging my adventures and fill you in on all the wonderful things that have happened. Because, I have learned, wonderful things can still happen in dark times.
2019 has not turned out as planned. The last four months have been really hard for me. I struggle with the word grieving but that is the best way I can describe it. I lost my relationship with the person I love more than anything, the person I expected to grow old with. It was not what I wanted, not what I planned for my life, and I have struggled daily with the reality of it.
Until just now, I have told only the people who would clearly notice something was wrong because they see me or talk to me frequently. I have relied so heavily on this small group of friends and family, all of whom have plenty of their own crap to deal with but who have been there for me without question. They have let me scream and cry and feel sorry for myself. Some have drunk (lots) of wine with me, traveled with me, and made me laugh when I needed it most. Some have been there virtually, checking in to make sure I am ok, often when I needed it most.
I. AM. SO. GRATEFUL. THANK YOU.
I will get through this; I know this. I will always wish I had what I lost; I know this too. But I also know I am so very fortunate. I have a wonderful life and I will live it as well as I can.
Thanks for listening. Happier posts to follow!
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